Increase your sexual desire: What role do sex toys play?
Humans are the only animal species that learns to have sex. That is to say, in our sexual relationships with others and with ourselves, we are driven not only by instinct, but also by what we learn. In fact, sexual mores are constantly changing based on time and culture. It is here, in this space of learned sex, that fantasy arises. This is our capacity to imagine, remember, evoke... fantasy is the flame of desire and eroticism.
Desire is the desire, what moves us to approach someone, to caress them, kiss them, and much more, and what also compels us to get to know our own bodies. Eroticism, a word derived from the god Eros, is that which stimulates sensuality or excites sexual pleasure. As you can see, desire and eroticism are the first spark of the fire that is sexual relations.
Many people worry about a lack of sexual desire, either because they used to have more of it than they do now, or because they feel they're "not very sexual" compared to other people. The first thing to know is that desire can't be forced or pressured. We mustn't forget that our sexuality is a part of us and is influenced by what happens to us. If we're very stressed at work or going through a difficult time with our partner, it's normal for sexual desire to decrease. In other words, there are many causes related to a lack of desire.
According to the National Survey on Sexual Health (2009), 14.1% of men and 8.2% of women cite a lack of sexual desire as the reason for not having sex in the past 12 months. However, a decrease in sexual desire shouldn't be an insurmountable burden. Psychology says that desire can be trained.
6 ways to stimulate your sexual desire:
- Live from a place of pleasure and well-being. This means treating yourself well and trying to include positive things in your daily life, like a pleasant walk, good company, or a delicious meal.
- Get to know yourself. That is, allow yourself to spend time with yourself and your body. Touch yourself, sexually and non-sexually. Think about what you like and don't like, and above all, experiment.
- Stimulate fantasy. We all have sexual fantasies to a greater or lesser extent, but you may not have discovered them. This goes hand in hand with self-knowledge.
- Talk to your partner, tell them what you like and what you don't. What you like, what you would change, what you don't dare say... with respect, communication is a great tool.
- Use all five senses. Sexuality is much more than your genitals. Allow yourself to explore: touching, licking, observing, smelling, and hearing will be your allies in increasing desire.
- Include sexual accessories in your relationships. Erotic devices enhance pleasure and stimulate creativity and imagination.
These are the erotic articles recommended by the Divino Secreto team of sexologists to stimulate desire:
The Satisfyer Double Fun is the perfect sex toy for couples. You can lose control and let yourself be carried away by the situation. It also allows you to focus on your own sensations while communicating how you feel. This product is one of the most sought-after sex toys for lesbians and heterosexual couples !
Although this vibrator is highly recommended for use with a partner, Asteria is perfect for self-discovery. With its wide head, you can massage your entire body and discover your erogenous zones beyond your genitals. It will allow you to enhance the quality of your experiences both alone and with others. It's one of the best sex toys for couples.
Eris is one of the perfect erotic products to stimulate the imagination. Its fun shape leaves plenty of room for creativity. It's flexible and adaptable, allowing you to massage any area of the body and penetrate one or two partners of either gender. Among sex toys for gay male-male couples, Eris has established itself as one of the best-selling.
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Author: María Gómez-Olmedo. Sexologist.