Strap-on dildos have ceased to be a niche toy and have become one of the most versatile, empowering, and sensual ways to explore sex as a couple. Whether in heterosexual, lesbian, or queer relationships, this combination allows for penetration to be experienced from an egalitarian, active, and consensual perspective, where the role doesn't depend on gender, but rather on desire.
In this article, we'll tell you what a strap-on dildo is , how to use it, what types exist, and why more and more couples are incorporating it into their erotic games with complete ease.
What is a strap-on dildo?
This is a body restraint system that allows a dildo (usually made of silicone or a flexible material) to be attached to the pelvis, leaving the hands free for movement or play. The harness can be made of straps, panty- style underwear, or even straps like a BDSM harness, and is designed to fit the wearer's body without discomfort.
The dildo, for its part, can be of different sizes, textures and shapes, and is often interchangeable , allowing you to personalize the experience.
Who can use a dildo harness?
Anyone who wants to enjoy a penetrative experience without a biological penis. They are especially popular with:
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Lesbian couples who want to practice controlled penetration
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Heterosexual couples interested in pegging (anal penetration of the man with a strap-on)
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Queer or non-binary couples seeking a fluid approach to sexual role-playing
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People with erectile dysfunction or physical limitations, who wish to maintain an active and empowered sexual life
The key is not sexual orientation, but the willingness to explore another's body from a new perspective .
Erotic and relational benefits
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It redistributes erotic power : the one who penetrates can also be the one who cares, guides and receives visual, emotional or physical pleasure.
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Promotes erotic empathy : using a harness allows you to understand what the other feels during penetration
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Increases trust and communication
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Allows simultaneous stimulation : many harnesses allow the addition of vibrators or suction cups so that both people receive pleasure at the same time.
How do you use a dildo harness?
1. Choose the right harness
The most versatile are those with adjustable straps, compatible with flat-bottom dildos ( harness compatibility ). There are also more comfortable underwear-style harnesses, ideal for extended use or for those who prefer a softer look.
2. Choose the ideal dildo
If it's your first time, it's best to use an anatomical dildo, not too long or thick , made of medical-grade silicone and with a flat base to securely attach to the harness. You can also opt for models with dual stimulation , curved ones for the G-spot or prostate, or even hollow ones if you want to cover the penis and penetrate at the same time.
3. Lubrication, always
Whether for vaginal or anal use, water-based lubricant is essential. Avoid silicone if your dildo is made of silicone.
4. Communication and rhythm
As with any new activity, the key is to take it slow and steady. Test the position, make sure the harness is secure, and play without pressure. The goal isn't to "get it right," but to enjoy the new experience and build confidence .
Dildo + harness = pleasure for everyone?
Yes. Although for a long time it was associated with only one type of couple, the use of strap-on dildos breaks with traditional gender stereotypes and allows us to discover a freer, more fluid, and consensual side of eroticism.
In addition, many models allow the harness wearer to also receive pleasure through:
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Harnesses with internal vibration
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Double dildos (one for each body)
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Remote-controlled suction cups
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Clitoris or G-spot stimulators integrated into the base
What if I want to try it but I'm embarrassed to suggest it?
Totally normal. Talking about new practices can be nerve-wracking. You can:
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Watch an educational article or video together
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Sharing fantasies without expectations
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Start with a manual dildo before using the harness
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Buy a kit and explore it at home without pressure
The important thing is that the game is based on mutual curiosity, not obligation.
Start exploring safely
At Divino Secreto Shop , we select professional-quality harnesses and dildos with body-safe materials, ergonomic fit, and options for all experience levels. You can also find complete kits, compatible lubricants, and accessories to customize your play to your liking.
🔗 Discover our collection of harness dildos
📚 Check out our guide to sex toys for couples
🛒 Or create your ownerotic kit for couples
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